On Memory

In the autumn of 2009, I had the good fortune to spend three weeks in residence at the Virginia Center for the Creative Arts. During this time, I was struggling with a plethora of feelings and reactions to my mother’s gradual decline from Alzheimers Disease. Without prior preconceptions about what I would do during my residency, I found myself pouring out the repetitive laments of my mother, for which I could offer no solace.


Five years previous, I had encouraged her to move to Virginia, realizing she was showing early signs of cognitive decline. She chose to remain in the Midwest, her life long home, home to her two sisters, and many friends. She was an active woman who volunteered in her community and loved to garden and cook. While carrying several large cookbooks to review before hosting her gourmet group of four (having met monthly for nearly thirty years) she fell on stairs in her home, shattering her tibial head. A complicated repair was attempted, further complicated by post-operative infection. She was subsequently unable to walk without help, necessitating a move from her multi-level home. For the next six years, she lived in nursing home facilities.


My mother and I spoke on the phone regularly, and I tried to visit several times a year, as did my brother living on the opposite coast. Initially, her questions, always tinged with a touch of anger and bewilderment, centered around where she was and what had happened to possessions she valued. Gradually, her query’s abated, and she seemed more content, establishing some friendships. Additional falls, however, led to more supervised quarters, less interaction, and accelerated decline.

She passed away on a winter evening during the kind of snowfall she so loved - a heavy volume of large flakes swirling down and accumulating quickly, perfect for cross-country skiing, one of her favorite pursuits.


Not a day goes by that I do not think of her and miss her. She was emotionally and physically strong. She was exceptionally kind, wise, thoughtful and loving. She contributed joy, sustenance, and support to everyone she knew. 

Studio view 3
Tangled Wood
2009
Charcoal, Acrylic, Watercolor and Ink on Arches
29.5 x 41.5 inches
Dense Tangle I
2009
Charcoal/Ink/Acrylic/Watercolor on paper
19.5 x 25.25 inches
Dense Tangle II
2009
Charcoal/Acrylic/Watercolor/Ink
25.25 x 19.5 inches
Facing a New Reality
2009
Conte Crayon on Paper
17 x 14 inches
Fleeting Glimpses
2009
Charcoal/Pastel on Paper
29.675x 24.25 inches
Hurdles or Havens
2009
Charcoal/Acrylic/Ink on Arches Paper
29.5 x 41.5 inches
Lost Words - Endless Corridor
2009
Charcoal/Conte Crayon on Arches Paper
41.5 x 29.5 inches
Lost Words - Hidden Layers
2009
Charcoal/Conte Crayon/Ink/Acrylic Paint on Arches Paper
41.5 x 29.5 inches
Lost Words - Peeling Apart
2009
Charcoal/Pastel on Arches Paper
41.5 x 29.5 inches
Lost Words - Waves- "I live here now...?"
2009
Charcoal on Arches Paper
41.5 x 29.5 inches
Lost Words - Waves (Detail)
Lost Words -"Nothing to do Here"
2009
Charcoal/Ink/Acrylic/Watercolor on Arches paper
41.5 x 29.5 inches
Lost Words -Impenetrable
2009
Charcoal/Conte Crayon/Watercolor/Ink on Arches Paper
41.5 x 29.5 inches
Lost Words (anger) - "I hate it here."
2009
Charcoal/Conte Crayon/Acrylic paint on Arches Paper
41.5 x 29.5 inches
Lost Words-"This Isn't Living"
2009
Charcoal/Acrylic/Watercolor/Ink on Arches Paper
41.5 x 29.5 inches
Lost Words-"Where are my Cookbooks?"
2009
Charcoal/Conte Crayon/Pastel on Arches Paper
41.5 x 29.5 inches
Restrictions
2009
Charcoal/Conte Crayon/Ink on Arches Paper
41.5 x 29.5 inches
Terror and a Wish
2009
Charcoal/Conte Crayon/Overlay Drawing on Arches paper
41.5 x 29.5 inches
The Easy Chair
2009
Charcoal, Pastel
25.5 x 19.5 inches
The Vortex
2009
Charcoal/Conte Crayon on Arches Paper
29.5 x 29.5 inches
Under the Rug - "Where are my shoes?"
2009
Watercolor/Ink
18 x 15 inches
Under the Rug -"Where are...?"
2009
Watercolor/Ink
18 x 15 inches
Works in Progress 1
Works in Progress 3

The images in this series begin with a monotype “Entering Twilight,” based on a photograph I took of my mother as she walked down a country road while visiting VA. It was the visit during which I became profoundly aware of her changing cognition.


Several Mixed media drawings from the VCCA residency follow. Shortly before her death, the encaustic work “Seven Days, 10,080 Minutes with Alzheimers” was conceived. One panel for each day, beginning with a repetitive question or request, colored with spiritual significance for the day, followed by 1440 drops of wax per panel, one for each minute of one day.

Circle of Cinquains

Seven Days, Stage 1
2013
Ink on Gampi on Birch panel
24" Diameter
Seven Days, Stage 2
2013
Ink and charcoal on Gampi on Panel
24" Diameter
Seven Days, 10,080 Minutes with Alzheimers
2013
Ink/oil/encaustic on birch panels
24"diameter
Seven Days, 10,080 Minutes with Alzheimers (Detail)

Departure Cinquain, 2024